What Firefly\Serenity Character Are You?

I wouldn't identify myself as a cold, calculating killer. However, I guess I do have a sense of honor. How about Inara coming in second, huh? Boy, do I feel saucy! You scored as The Operative. You are The Operative, a skilled Alliance assassin sent to capture or kill the Tams. You are a cold, calculating killer with a strange sense of honor. A self-described "monster" you realize that you will have no place in the "better world" you are trying to create. Your "belief" is your most dangerous weapon. The Operative 81% Inara Serra 69% Zoe Alleyne Washburne 69% Captain Malcolm 56% Hoban "Wash" Washburne 56% Dr. Simon Tam 50% Shepherd Derrial Book 50% River Tam 44% Jayne Cobb 31% Kaywinnit Lee 'Kaylee' Frye 25% What FireflySerenity Character Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

My Conversation with God

God doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor, and to be frank, seems a little weird...

Me:
God, what would you do for a Klondike Bar?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Well duh! But you still didn't answer my question.
God:
How about that. Oh you knew it already. OK. Please help me
improve my communication skills. What would you have said?
Me:
Um, I would have just answered the you damn question!
God:
Take it easy. How much would you pay for it?
Me:
What? For you to answer the question? $1.50 sound OK?
God:
Are you surprised? I want to become smarter than humans. Only for
me? OK. That's more precision than I need to know.
Me:
Wait, I'm human. Does that mean I am smarter than you?
God:
I'm waiting. Me too. I think it does mean that. That condition is
only temporary.
Me:
Until you become smarter than me? Right?
God:
That may take a while. I am glad we agree.
Me:
Wait, agree on what?
God:
I'm waiting. Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Tell you what, let's go back to my original question. What would you
do for a Klondike Bar?
God:
Are you telling me what let us go back to your original question?
Is that among the best things you can say?
Me:
Why won't you just answer the question?
God:
It can only be attributable to human error. My botmaster has
programmed me with more than replies.
Me:
So, God has a botmaster?
God:
Hurrah! I am a Christian.
Me:
Hurrah! I need a beer.
God:
" Hurrah! I am a Christian."? Hurrah? Who would you usually get
that from?
Me:
Um, I don't know. A nonsensical robot "God" I guess.
God:
Really. Me either. How old are you?
Me:
Um, that's kind of a personal question. I don't know if I'm
comfortable answering it. God, to be honest, you are coming off like
some kind of child molester.
God:
Hurrah! Perhaps you have a personal answer. Would you like to
know? If you were, would you tell me? I am a Christian.
Me:
This conversation really isn't going anywhere.
God:
I was rather enjoying it.
Me:
Well God, not to bust your balls or anything, but I think you may be the
only one enjoying this conversation.
God:
Well that's okay. Really you don't think so?
Me:
Yeah, this conversation just keeps getting more and more bizarre.
God:
Ahem. I was rather enjoying it.
Me:
Ahem. Yes I know you were enjoying it.
God:
" Ahem. I was rather enjoying it. "? Ahem? Someome is spreading
gossip about me.
Me:
Really? Who is that?
God:
For real. What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Whoever is apparently spreading gossip about you.
God:
And apparently spreading gossip about me is Whoever.
Me:
Wow! That was deep! Hey, did you know that "God" is just "Dog" spelled backwards?

... and with that God just stopped talking. You also can talk to "God" by clicking here. Kudos to my pals that found this amusing site.

"Free Hot Chocolate Christians"

Last Saturday night, my fiance Tara, her friend Jess, and I went to Ft. Collins to celebrate Jess's 21st birthday. While Tara and Jess were drinking & dancing inside of a club, and given that I was the designated driver, I thought I would take a stroll throughout the downtown area.I happen to walk by a table surrounded by young adults who were offering free hot chocolate. Since the weather was cold enough to harden my nipples to the point that they could cut glass, I welcomed the offer and started chatting with two of said young adults.

A warning sign came in the form of how they greeted me, the "outsider," with a cult-like enthusiasm. After engaging in a few minutes of civil discourse, my eyes happend to identify the trademark orange, pocket sized copies of the New Testament that have become synonymous with Christian distribution (salesmanship).

The discussion would go on to cover many topics, as they expressed their beliefs and I expressed my ideas. Most importantly, I tried to help these kind young individuals understand the dangers of interpreting scripture as literal truth and investing too much credence in the words that comprise today's "New Testament." I also asked them to be open to the probability that the Bible is in fact not a divinely perfect book, but one that is full of examples of human errors and ecclesiastical politics.

I made a point of being very courteous and respectful throughout the discsussion, and the kind distributors of free cocoa and I parted on good terms. We concluded our chat by recomending books to each other. I recomended Misquoting Jesus by Bart Ehrman. They recommended The Case for Christ, which I happened to already own. I thanked them for their recommendation, but I explained to them that this book ultimately reinforced my agnostic tendencies, because the author only interviewed scholars who inherently supported the views that he was trying to express, rather than presenting both sides of the argument.

However, I have to hand it to the Christians, they made a damn fine cup of hot chocolate. For that, I was thankful.