25 Signs That, Sadly, You've Grown Up

I've bolded the ones that apply to me...

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. (Never smoked any plant.)

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (Given my acrobatic tendencies, and my manly strength, only a king bed will do.)

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. (As much as I enjoy beer, I love food more.)

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel. (Practically daily. Sad, but true.)

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. (I miss having summers off.)

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. (Fortunately, I am still down with the Bell.)

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. (I don't think I ever did this.)

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. (Does this include later "activities" at home after the movie?)

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach. (Well, on several occasions Burger King food has wreaked havoc on my bowls. Sorry toilet!)

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff".

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. (Thanks to the wonderful cooking of a certain special lady.)

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again." (I have never actually been drunk. However, rumor has it that certain individuals are conspiring to remedy that during my future bachelor party.)

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. (Indeed, this is true.)

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. (Not only do I do this, but I have also learned to never underestimate the value of afternoon matinees at the theater.)

25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save Your sorry old ass.

I scored 12 out of 25, so does that mean that I am 48% old? It was my hope, that at the age of 24, I was not already becoming a grumpy old man. However, these results seem to undermine said hopes. So, how did the rest of you do?